January 25, 2020

CN: extensive discussion of the experience of being in an abusive relationship, discussion of physical abuse and the painful process of recovery after abuse, mention of sexual abuse. 


Being able to recognize that you are being abused, while the abuse is still happening, is mind-bogglingly difficult. I say mind-boggling because even though dozens of people trying to tell me that my relationship was abusive was completely ineffective for me, it’s still my first instinct when someone’s partner exhibits abusive behaviors to try to tell them that. I know that this extremely straight-forward tactic...

December 28, 2019

CN: extensive discussion of the dynamics, healing process, and emotional experience of abuse. General discussion of PTSD and trauma responses. This post may encourage trauma processing. Read it at your own pace!

I have a large number of friends who have been through at least one kind of abuse and I’ve noticed that if someone has gone through the process of recognizing that something that happened to them was abusive at least once, it becomes much more important to them to evaluate future behaviors as potentially abusive. 

It can be really difficult to tell, especially if you have PTSD and some o...

May 25, 2019

CN: extensive discussion of the experience of abusive relationships, physical abuse.


There are many articles about identifying characteristics of abusive relationships, what being abused feels like, and the aftermath of being abused. But making the decision to leave an abusive relationship is exceedingly difficult, and actually doing it is harder still since doing so safely often takes time and strategic planning. While you are still trapped in the world of abuse, you have to find ways to cope, to survive until you can figure out something better. Christina takes an empathetic look at these co...

April 8, 2019

CN: gaslighting, abuse, money, in-depth discussion of the symptoms and treatment of borderline personality disorder, medication, and mental illness; mention of suicide. 
 

As I discussed recently, the use of medication to treat mental illness is the target of a lot of undeserved societal stigma; however, it’s a tool that comes with many challenges in managing side effects, finding the right balance of brain chemistry for you, and for some people, it simply doesn’t work. In today’s guest post, Sandra Jones looks at how even though medication increased her tendency towards positive feelings, it w...

March 22, 2019

CN: mental health crisis’, mental health management; brief mention of a variety of mental health based issues and abuse.


The fifth and final installment of Lucy Merriman’s guide to offering mental health support when you yourself are not a trained mental health worker, is possibly the most universally helpful of all the parts. It includes some extremely useful problem solving techniques, basic guidelines to finding the info you need to help you move forward, and an amazing list of mental health related media that you should check out regardless of whether you are the one offering help or the o...

November 20, 2017

CN: emotional abuse, abusive relationships
 

Most abusive relationship stories lie in the story of how you left: How did you get out? What was the final straw? How awful did things have to get before you finally had enough?
 

By the time a survivor leaves an abusive relationship, the abuse has evolved significantly. There is very little good left in the relationship—just enough to keep the victim hopeful for a better future someday—and the tiny bit of good is surrounded by degradation, control, and danger. This is the stage of the relationship that most stories focus on.
 

When it comes to abusiv...

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