What Does Dissociation Feel Like?

CN: extensive and detailed descriptions of what disordered dissociation can feel like; extensive discussion of Dissociative Identity Disorder, amnesia, and mental health management in general; specific examples of abuse; general discussion of trauma and chronic pain.  Added note of caution: Some people who struggle with dissociation find that reading detailed descriptions of dissociation can bring on those symptoms for them. Read at your own pace and take care of yourself.  For as long as I …Read More

Early Signs That I Had Dissociative Identity Disorder

CN: extensive discussion of the symptoms and experince of dissociative identity disorder, such as dissociation, trauma flash backs, amnesia, anxiety, and extreme emotional fluctuations.  Dissociative Identity Disorder is a really unique and amazing mental illness, or as we like to call it, a survival mechanism. In most of the media portrayals of DID, the separate identities are dramatically and obviously different, switches are highly visible, and the host is constantly disoriented by their blackouts and …Read More

Everything You Need to Know About Boundaries

The topic of boundaries comes up quite a lot during discussions about trauma and mental health but even therapists can skimp on the details of how to actually formulate, set, and enforce boundaries! It took me many years to learn that a boundary is not a tool to control the actions of others or to prevent harm from ever reaching me. It is an agreement that I make with myself about how I expect to …Read More

What Is Plurality/Multiplicity?

CN: extensive discussion of plurality, dissociative disorders, mental health, and the impact of trauma, ableism; brief discussion of amnesia. For every type of marginalization you encounter, there will be an invisible barrier to understanding the humanity of those who face structural disenfranchisement that you do not. Even beyond gaining the knowledge that these structural inequities exist and have been forced upon an innocent group of people, we still carry with us a tendency to view …Read More

Article on Medium: Why Does Everything Feel So Hard Right Now If I’m Fine

When social-distancing first started, I figured, besides my anxiety about the virus itself, my life wouldn’t change a huge amount and the transition would probably be easy for me. My work is already remote, my financial situation is stable, and my partner and I are pretty used to co-existing in our apartment for long periods of time. Almost immediately, I found that if I didn’t work hard to use my systems and tools meant to …Read More

Recovering from Abuse: Was Everything My Fault?

CN: extensive discussion of the dynamics, healing process, and emotional experience of abuse. General discussion of PTSD and trauma responses. This post may encourage trauma processing. Read it at your own pace! I have a large number of friends who have been through at least one kind of abuse and I’ve noticed that if someone has gone through the process of recognizing that something that happened to them was abusive at least once, it becomes …Read More

It Can’t Be That Bad: How the Medical System Let Me Fall Through the Cracks

CN: Explicit descriptions and in depth discussion of chronic pain, abuse, medical neglect, gaslighting, and oppression through poverty. Discussion of sexual assault, trauma, mental and illness. Mention of genitals. There is a disconnect between the experience of a patient and the experience of a medical professional, one that worsens if the patient’s illness is chronic or not easily explained. As more and more stories of medical neglect as a result of marginalization are brought to …Read More

Dear Me Ten Years Ago: Advice for My 20-year-old Self

CN: brief mention of difficult life circumstances including abuse & trauma, general discussion of mental illness. About a month ago, I was dinking around twitter when I saw the hashtag #DearMeTenYearsAgo. Woah. Where was I 10 years ago? When I first saw this hashtag, I was about to turn 30, which is a big deal on its own, but 10 years before, the lead up to my 20th birthday had also been a big turning …Read More

How Lizzo Helped Me Grow into “My Skin“

CN: mention of cancer, racism, domestic violence, and trauma. I first found out about the singer and performer Lizzo on an early episode of Phoebe Robinson’s podcast, “Sooo Many White Guys.” The podcast is an amazing combo of comedy and digging into the important topics and it features exclusively entertainers and activists from multiple marginalized groups, particularly people of color. As such, I had never heard of most of her guests and it was an …Read More