How Mast Cell Activation Disorder Changed My Life

CN: extensive and detailed discussion of chronic illness symptoms such as nausea, brain fog, and difficulty eating; discussion of weight loss   One day, after taking a short walk, I had a strange health episode. I was incredibly exhausted, totally disproportionate to the amount of walking I had done. I sat down in the chair in the kitchen as soon as I got in, too tired to go all the way to my bedroom, and then …Read More

Why I Stopped Taking Gabapentin

I am updating and republishing some of my early articles from this blog. Please enjoy this article, originally published under the title “Color” in March of 2017, about the early days of my chronic pain journey.  CN: extensive discussion of the experience of anxiety, chronic pain, medication side effects, and medical neglect. Duloxetine was the first pain medication my doctor ever prescribed me, an anti-depressant that can sometimes help with pain.  A year after I …Read More

9 Things That Blocked My Access to Medical Treatment

CN: detailed discussion of chronic pain, PTSD, doctor neglect, and ableism; mention of emesis. I am updating and republishing some of my early articles from this blog. Please enjoy this article that was originally published as “26” in March, 2017, and has been cross-posted on medium, about the early attempts to diagnose the cause of my chronic pain and other symptoms.  When you meet a new doctor, you’re allowed just a few sentences to communicate everything about …Read More

What Does Dissociation Feel Like?

CN: extensive and detailed descriptions of what disordered dissociation can feel like; extensive discussion of Dissociative Identity Disorder, amnesia, and mental health management in general; specific examples of abuse; general discussion of trauma and chronic pain.  Added note of caution: Some people who struggle with dissociation find that reading detailed descriptions of dissociation can bring on those symptoms for them. Read at your own pace and take care of yourself.  For as long as I …Read More

Wait, Your Body Doesn’t Do This, Too?

I am updating and republishing some of my early articles from this blog. Please enjoy this article that was originally published as “The Blue Book” in May 2017 and was cross-published on the Medium publication No End In Sight in November of 2019, about the early stages of my experience with chronic illness and chronic pain.  CN: chronic pain, ableism, images of mild body contortions I sat down at the bus stop. There were still a …Read More

“Needing Extra Care Doesn’t Make You a Burden” Got a Glow-up!

Back when we first started designing and releasing our own original designs for merch, in August 2020,  our very first design was the simple drawing of an orchid with the words “Needing Extra Care Doesn’t Make You a Burden.” After doing a few more designs, we learned a lot more about how to do digital art, what our style was, and how to make art that prints well. After a while, our first piece seemed …Read More

Early Signs That I Had Dissociative Identity Disorder

CN: extensive discussion of the symptoms and experince of dissociative identity disorder, such as dissociation, trauma flash backs, amnesia, anxiety, and extreme emotional fluctuations.  Dissociative Identity Disorder is a really unique and amazing mental illness, or as we like to call it, a survival mechanism. In most of the media portrayals of DID, the separate identities are dramatically and obviously different, switches are highly visible, and the host is constantly disoriented by their blackouts and …Read More

Young Hot & Full of Moderate to Severe Joint Pain: New Merch!

Some of you may be familiar with the game Cards Against Humanity. While it has its problems, this amazing card combo made the rounds in the chronic illness communities on social media. Every time I saw it, I felt like it described my life so perfectly, like it was way more than just a meme. So it went on my list of ideas to turn into merch and now that idea is a reality! You …Read More

Who Am I Today? How My DID System and I Figure Out Who Is Fronting

CN: Extensive discussion of plurality, dissociative disorders, and identity disruption, brief discussion of some of the distressing symptoms of dissociative disorders Most mornings, my boyfriend will greet me with a hug and say, “Who are you today?” This is a more complicated question for me than it is for most people.  I was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder in August of 2020, a mental health condition that means my identity is split up into a …Read More

What Is Plurality/Multiplicity?

CN: extensive discussion of plurality, dissociative disorders, mental health, and the impact of trauma, ableism; brief discussion of amnesia. For every type of marginalization you encounter, there will be an invisible barrier to understanding the humanity of those who face structural disenfranchisement that you do not. Even beyond gaining the knowledge that these structural inequities exist and have been forced upon an innocent group of people, we still carry with us a tendency to view …Read More