What Do You Want out of a Relationship? An Alternate Method to Reaching Abuse Victims

CN: extensive discussion of the experience of being in an abusive relationship, discussion of physical abuse and the painful process of recovery after abuse, mention of sexual abuse. Being able to recognize that you are being abused, while the abuse is still happening, is mind-bogglingly difficult. I say mind-boggling because even though dozens of people trying to tell me that my relationship was abusive was completely ineffective for me, it’s still my first instinct when …Read More

Recovering from Abuse: Was Everything My Fault?

CN: extensive discussion of the dynamics, healing process, and emotional experience of abuse. General discussion of PTSD and trauma responses. This post may encourage trauma processing. Read it at your own pace! I have a large number of friends who have been through at least one kind of abuse and I’ve noticed that if someone has gone through the process of recognizing that something that happened to them was abusive at least once, it becomes …Read More

Understanding the Coping Mechanisms of Victims of Abuse

CN: extensive discussion of the experience of abusive relationships, physical abuse. There are many articles about identifying characteristics of abusive relationships, what being abused feels like, and the aftermath of being abused. But making the decision to leave an abusive relationship is exceedingly difficult, and actually doing it is harder still since doing so safely often takes time and strategic planning. While you are still trapped in the world of abuse, you have to find …Read More

Why I Stopped Taking Anti-Depressants

CN: gaslighting, abuse, money, in-depth discussion of the symptoms and treatment of borderline personality disorder, medication, and mental illness; mention of suicide. As I discussed recently, the use of medication to treat mental illness is the target of a lot of undeserved societal stigma; however, it’s a tool that comes with many challenges in managing side effects, finding the right balance of brain chemistry for you, and for some people, it simply doesn’t work. In …Read More

How to Lend a Hand in a Mental Health Crisis Part 5: Seeking Solutions

CN: mental health crisis’, mental health management; brief mention of a variety of mental health based issues and abuse. The fifth and final installment of Lucy Merriman’s guide to offering mental health support when you yourself are not a trained mental health worker, is possibly the most universally helpful of all the parts. It includes some extremely useful problem solving techniques, basic guidelines to finding the info you need to help you move forward, and …Read More

How Did You Meet Your Abusive Partner?

CN: emotional abuse, abusive relationships Most abusive relationship stories lie in the story of how you left: How did you get out? What was the final straw? How awful did things have to get before you finally had enough? By the time a survivor leaves an abusive relationship, the abuse has evolved significantly. There is very little good left in the relationship—just enough to keep the victim hopeful for a better future someday—and the tiny …Read More