Patreon Bonus Content: Choosing the Color Palettes for My Poetry Book Cover

In the past, we always figured we’d hire someone to do the artwork for the cover of our book but when we decided to self-publish, we realized that we actually have enough skill to do a decent job ourselves! 

The book is called “Pet: poetry on abuse and recovery” and it didn’t take very long to decide on the appropriate image…

Article on Medium: Why Does Everything Feel So Hard Right Now If I’m Fine

When social-distancing first started, I figured, besides my anxiety about the virus itself, my life wouldn’t change a huge amount and the transition would probably be easy for me. My work is already remote, my financial situation is stable, and my partner and I are pretty used to co-existing in our apartment for long periods of time. Almost immediately, I found that if I didn’t work hard to use my systems and tools meant to …Read More

What Do You Want out of a Relationship? An Alternate Method to Reaching Abuse Victims

CN: extensive discussion of the experience of being in an abusive relationship, discussion of physical abuse and the painful process of recovery after abuse, mention of sexual abuse. Being able to recognize that you are being abused, while the abuse is still happening, is mind-bogglingly difficult. I say mind-boggling because even though dozens of people trying to tell me that my relationship was abusive was completely ineffective for me, it’s still my first instinct when …Read More

Recovering from Abuse: Was Everything My Fault?

CN: extensive discussion of the dynamics, healing process, and emotional experience of abuse. General discussion of PTSD and trauma responses. This post may encourage trauma processing. Read it at your own pace! I have a large number of friends who have been through at least one kind of abuse and I’ve noticed that if someone has gone through the process of recognizing that something that happened to them was abusive at least once, it becomes …Read More

It Can’t Be That Bad: How the Medical System Let Me Fall Through the Cracks

CN: Explicit descriptions and in depth discussion of chronic pain, abuse, medical neglect, gaslighting, and oppression through poverty. Discussion of sexual assault, trauma, mental and illness. Mention of genitals. There is a disconnect between the experience of a patient and the experience of a medical professional, one that worsens if the patient’s illness is chronic or not easily explained. As more and more stories of medical neglect as a result of marginalization are brought to …Read More

How Lizzo Helped Me Grow into “My Skin“

CN: mention of cancer, racism, domestic violence, and trauma. I first found out about the singer and performer Lizzo on an early episode of Phoebe Robinson’s podcast, “Sooo Many White Guys.” The podcast is an amazing combo of comedy and digging into the important topics and it features exclusively entertainers and activists from multiple marginalized groups, particularly people of color. As such, I had never heard of most of her guests and it was an …Read More

Understanding the Coping Mechanisms of Victims of Abuse

CN: extensive discussion of the experience of abusive relationships, physical abuse. There are many articles about identifying characteristics of abusive relationships, what being abused feels like, and the aftermath of being abused. But making the decision to leave an abusive relationship is exceedingly difficult, and actually doing it is harder still since doing so safely often takes time and strategic planning. While you are still trapped in the world of abuse, you have to find …Read More

Why I Stopped Taking Anti-Depressants

CN: gaslighting, abuse, money, in-depth discussion of the symptoms and treatment of borderline personality disorder, medication, and mental illness; mention of suicide. As I discussed recently, the use of medication to treat mental illness is the target of a lot of undeserved societal stigma; however, it’s a tool that comes with many challenges in managing side effects, finding the right balance of brain chemistry for you, and for some people, it simply doesn’t work. In …Read More

How to Lend a Hand in a Mental Health Crisis Part 5: Seeking Solutions

CN: mental health crisis’, mental health management; brief mention of a variety of mental health based issues and abuse. The fifth and final installment of Lucy Merriman’s guide to offering mental health support when you yourself are not a trained mental health worker, is possibly the most universally helpful of all the parts. It includes some extremely useful problem solving techniques, basic guidelines to finding the info you need to help you move forward, and …Read More