Who Am I Today? How My DID System and I Figure Out Who Is Fronting

CN: Extensive discussion of plurality, dissociative disorders, and identity disruption, brief discussion of some of the distressing symptoms of dissociative disorders Most mornings, my boyfriend will greet me with a hug and say, “Who are you today?” This is a more complicated question for me than it is for most people.  I was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder in August of 2020, a mental health condition that means my identity is split up into a …Read More

What Is Plurality/Multiplicity?

CN: extensive discussion of plurality, dissociative disorders, mental health, and the impact of trauma, ableism; brief discussion of amnesia. For every type of marginalization you encounter, there will be an invisible barrier to understanding the humanity of those who face structural disenfranchisement that you do not. Even beyond gaining the knowledge that these structural inequities exist and have been forced upon an innocent group of people, we still carry with us a tendency to view …Read More

Coping with Covid: Learning to Find Comfort Amidst the Unknown

CN: Extensive discussion of the mental and financial impact of Covid19, mention of existing oppressive systems. I tend to have a pretty hard time during a national or global crisis. My primary method of deprogramming my anxiety that has been my baseline for as long as I can remember has been teaching myself that the external causes of that perpetual state of fear are long gone and I’m safe now. When something happens that genuinely …Read More

Recovering from Abuse: Was Everything My Fault?

CN: extensive discussion of the dynamics, healing process, and emotional experience of abuse. General discussion of PTSD and trauma responses. This post may encourage trauma processing. Read it at your own pace! I have a large number of friends who have been through at least one kind of abuse and I’ve noticed that if someone has gone through the process of recognizing that something that happened to them was abusive at least once, it becomes …Read More

It Can’t Be That Bad: How the Medical System Let Me Fall Through the Cracks

CN: Explicit descriptions and in depth discussion of chronic pain, abuse, medical neglect, gaslighting, and oppression through poverty. Discussion of sexual assault, trauma, mental and illness. Mention of genitals. There is a disconnect between the experience of a patient and the experience of a medical professional, one that worsens if the patient’s illness is chronic or not easily explained. As more and more stories of medical neglect as a result of marginalization are brought to …Read More

I Don’t Have Interstitial Cystitis

CN: extensive discussion of bladder problems, urination, pelvic floor work and internal exams, dietary restrictions, food, descriptions of pain; mention of sex, various health problems, and PTSD. I have always needed to pee more often than anyone I know. When I was a kid, in addition to being a frequent bed-wetter, I also wet my pants whenever I laughed too hard and unlike most kids, I never grew out of the habit. My embarrassing attempts …Read More

When Charity Masks Injustice: Thoughts from an Ex-Missionary

CN: in depth discussion of christian culture and religious institutions, othering and neglect of marginalized groups, stigmatization of mental illness, abuse of power. One of the things I love about the Voices section of this blog is that it creates an opportunity to share guest writers’ life experiences that are so incredibly different from my own. I can research a topic, break it down, explain it to you, but I can’t tell you what it’s …Read More

Signed, the Daughter You May Someday Know

CN: graphic description of self-harm; discussion of suicide, teen homelessness, homophobia, religious opposition to homosexuality, familial rejection, and mental illness. Every openly LGBTQ+ person has a coming-out story. I grew up in an incredibly liberal town where bisexuality or any kind of sexual fluidity was common enough that I encountered very little resistance when I came out, which is why I haven’t written much about my own experience regarding sexual orientation on this blog. The …Read More

Why Chronic Illness Makes it So Hard to Leave Home

CN: Detailed descriptions of the experience of pain and other health issues, discussion of chronic pain, disability, chronic illness. My chronically ill friends and I joke about the medicine cabinet worth of supplies we take with us on any trip that’s longer than an hour because we never know what we’re going to need. Going to an appointment: Water, meds, lip balm, hip-brace, sweatshirt. For work: All of that plus lotion, white flower oil (think …Read More

Dear Me Ten Years Ago: Advice for My 20-year-old Self

CN: brief mention of difficult life circumstances including abuse & trauma, general discussion of mental illness. About a month ago, I was dinking around twitter when I saw the hashtag #DearMeTenYearsAgo. Woah. Where was I 10 years ago? When I first saw this hashtag, I was about to turn 30, which is a big deal on its own, but 10 years before, the lead up to my 20th birthday had also been a big turning …Read More