CN: extensive and detailed discussion of chronic illness symptoms such as nausea, brain fog, and difficulty eating; discussion of weight loss One day, after taking a short walk, I had a strange health episode. I was incredibly exhausted, totally disproportionate to the amount of walking I had done. I sat down in the chair in the kitchen as soon as I got in, too tired to go all the way to my bedroom, and then …Read More
This is a new version of an article that was originally published as “26,” about the early attempts to diagnose the cause of my chronic pain and other symptoms, and the many ways my access to medical treatment was blocked for years prior.
A revamped version of my article “The Blue Book” about my discovery of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and early struggles with integrating chronic illness into my identity.
CN: General discussion of food and healthy eating habits, mental health, and the emotional impact of the pandemic, brief mention of bodily functions, and white supremacy. Extensive discussion of rats including photos! Everything happening in the world at the moment is a lot and it can be easy to default to just disconnecting from current events, or pushing through without taking care of yourself which can result in burnout. Neither of these extremes is ideal. …Read More
CN: Extensive discussion of the mental and financial impact of Covid19, mention of existing oppressive systems. I tend to have a pretty hard time during a national or global crisis. My primary method of deprogramming my anxiety that has been my baseline for as long as I can remember has been teaching myself that the external causes of that perpetual state of fear are long gone and I’m safe now. When something happens that genuinely …Read More
CN: extensive discussion of Covid 19 and the structural ways it is impacting society Unusual times call for unusual measures: Twice in as many weeks, I’ve written a “reactionary” blog post, this time, in response to the Covid19 pandemic that’s severely impacting the entire world right now. Institutional activism is not my strength, but for reasons listed below, these issues require a uniquely high proportion of institutional and legislative support. I have written a letter …Read More
CN: Explicit descriptions and in depth discussion of chronic pain, abuse, medical neglect, gaslighting, and oppression through poverty. Discussion of sexual assault, trauma, mental and illness. Mention of genitals. There is a disconnect between the experience of a patient and the experience of a medical professional, one that worsens if the patient’s illness is chronic or not easily explained. As more and more stories of medical neglect as a result of marginalization are brought to …Read More
CN: extensive discussion of bladder problems, urination, pelvic floor work and internal exams, dietary restrictions, food, descriptions of pain; mention of sex, various health problems, and PTSD. I have always needed to pee more often than anyone I know. When I was a kid, in addition to being a frequent bed-wetter, I also wet my pants whenever I laughed too hard and unlike most kids, I never grew out of the habit. My embarrassing attempts …Read More
CN: Detailed descriptions of the experience of pain and other health issues, discussion of chronic pain, disability, chronic illness. My chronically ill friends and I joke about the medicine cabinet worth of supplies we take with us on any trip that’s longer than an hour because we never know what we’re going to need. Going to an appointment: Water, meds, lip balm, hip-brace, sweatshirt. For work: All of that plus lotion, white flower oil (think …Read More
CN: brief mention of difficult life circumstances including abuse & trauma, general discussion of mental illness. About a month ago, I was dinking around twitter when I saw the hashtag #DearMeTenYearsAgo. Woah. Where was I 10 years ago? When I first saw this hashtag, I was about to turn 30, which is a big deal on its own, but 10 years before, the lead up to my 20th birthday had also been a big turning …Read More