How Mast Cell Activation Disorder Changed My Life

CN: extensive and detailed discussion of chronic illness symptoms such as nausea, brain fog, and difficulty eating; discussion of weight loss   One day, after taking a short walk, I had a strange health episode. I was incredibly exhausted, totally disproportionate to the amount of walking I had done. I sat down in the chair in the kitchen as soon as I got in, too tired to go all the way to my bedroom, and then …Read More

9 Things That Blocked My Access to Medical Treatment

CN: detailed discussion of chronic pain, PTSD, doctor neglect, and ableism; mention of emesis. I am updating and republishing some of my early articles from this blog. Please enjoy this article that was originally published as “26” in March, 2017, and has been cross-posted on medium, about the early attempts to diagnose the cause of my chronic pain and other symptoms.  When you meet a new doctor, you’re allowed just a few sentences to communicate everything about …Read More

Wait, Your Body Doesn’t Do This, Too?

I am updating and republishing some of my early articles from this blog. Please enjoy this article that was originally published as “The Blue Book” in May 2017 and was cross-published on the Medium publication No End In Sight in November of 2019, about the early stages of my experience with chronic illness and chronic pain.  CN: chronic pain, ableism, images of mild body contortions I sat down at the bus stop. There were still a …Read More

The Things Our Pets Can Teach Us About Self-Care

CN: General discussion of food and healthy eating habits, mental health, and the emotional impact of the pandemic, brief mention of bodily functions, and white supremacy. Extensive discussion of rats including photos! Everything happening in the world at the moment is a lot and it can be easy to default to just disconnecting from current events, or pushing through without taking care of yourself which can result in burnout. Neither of these extremes is ideal. …Read More

Coping with Covid: Learning to Find Comfort Amidst the Unknown

CN: Extensive discussion of the mental and financial impact of Covid19, mention of existing oppressive systems. I tend to have a pretty hard time during a national or global crisis. My primary method of deprogramming my anxiety that has been my baseline for as long as I can remember has been teaching myself that the external causes of that perpetual state of fear are long gone and I’m safe now. When something happens that genuinely …Read More

A Letter to My Local Government Regarding Covid19

CN: extensive discussion of Covid 19 and the structural ways it is impacting society Unusual times call for unusual measures: Twice in as many weeks, I’ve written a “reactionary” blog post, this time, in response to the Covid19 pandemic that’s severely impacting the entire world right now. Institutional activism is not my strength, but for reasons listed below, these issues require a uniquely high proportion of institutional and legislative support. I have written a letter …Read More

It Can’t Be That Bad: How the Medical System Let Me Fall Through the Cracks

CN: Explicit descriptions and in depth discussion of chronic pain, abuse, medical neglect, gaslighting, and oppression through poverty. Discussion of sexual assault, trauma, mental and illness. Mention of genitals. There is a disconnect between the experience of a patient and the experience of a medical professional, one that worsens if the patient’s illness is chronic or not easily explained. As more and more stories of medical neglect as a result of marginalization are brought to …Read More

I Don’t Have Interstitial Cystitis

CN: extensive discussion of bladder problems, urination, pelvic floor work and internal exams, dietary restrictions, food, descriptions of pain; mention of sex, various health problems, and PTSD. I have always needed to pee more often than anyone I know. When I was a kid, in addition to being a frequent bed-wetter, I also wet my pants whenever I laughed too hard and unlike most kids, I never grew out of the habit. My embarrassing attempts …Read More

Why Chronic Illness Makes it So Hard to Leave Home

CN: Detailed descriptions of the experience of pain and other health issues, discussion of chronic pain, disability, chronic illness. My chronically ill friends and I joke about the medicine cabinet worth of supplies we take with us on any trip that’s longer than an hour because we never know what we’re going to need. Going to an appointment: Water, meds, lip balm, hip-brace, sweatshirt. For work: All of that plus lotion, white flower oil (think …Read More

Dear Me Ten Years Ago: Advice for My 20-year-old Self

CN: brief mention of difficult life circumstances including abuse & trauma, general discussion of mental illness. About a month ago, I was dinking around twitter when I saw the hashtag #DearMeTenYearsAgo. Woah. Where was I 10 years ago? When I first saw this hashtag, I was about to turn 30, which is a big deal on its own, but 10 years before, the lead up to my 20th birthday had also been a big turning …Read More